How Our Childhood Affects our Adulthood

How Our Childhood Affects our Adulthood

Growing up we lose our innocence in different ways but what destroys our youth is the unconscious baggage we carry. This baggage comes mostly through our caretakers or caregivers and parents and relatives who raise us. Our interactions with others are defined by how we saw our elders relating to each other and how they related to us. We form an opinion about what is expected of our characters and personality through this.

The problem arises because children are powerless and always at the mercy of some adults whether it is a teacher or a parent. They are naïve and easily intimidated by manipulative people and abuse power. It's unfortunate that some people are so malicious and ruin other's lives without regard to their innocence. Doing this begins a cycle of abuse that gets carried on by the victim to another person directly or indirectly.

The voice in your head is usually that of the person who raised you, and if it was full of criticism so will your thoughts be, while if it was one of praise hence will your thoughts be. This is why so many great people are usually very doubtful because most of them grew up feeling insufficient and hence strived to become great. However, no amount of success can help an individual deal with the feeling of lack that comes from childhood trauma.

For some people who grew up in single-parent families, end up overcompensating with their peers to avoid being abandoned. This transforms into toxic relationships and friendships as that gripping fear of being left alone governs all their decisions. Hence they stay in bad situations and while some walk away most never fully heal from the pain. It's hard to start healing from something that you don't fully understand the origin of without acknowledging the past trauma one can't move on.

The other scenario is of those who grew up in violent homes, whether it was molestation, violence caning, or parental abuse. This is the most toxic environment for a child's development because they will end up having low self-esteem and violence issues. Whereby the adult might be prone to being aggressive and violent towards others or become too passive and avoid any argument leading to becoming a victim of other's actions.

All this occurs because while consciously a person grows up to become a defensive adult, the subconscious carries on the trauma of childhood. This leads a person to attract similar situations to the ones that they grew up in, as an attempt of dealing with the past. This means having similar relationships and friendships to the ones seen growing up and experiencing the same trauma that is in the memory.

The only way to avoid these repetitive patterns is to forgive those who hurt us and forget the terrible experience that is easier said than done. In my experience, I grew up with a deep hatred towards my mother, and even space or time could not heal the rift. Until I was ready to let go of the hatred and see her as not only a parent but also a human who made mistakes. It has been a process of healing and forgiveness that continues as I struggle to look past the past.

It's unfortunate how childhood trauma can affect a person's life, and to deal with it can be relieving as you let go of the baggage you didn't know you were carrying. It’s important to reflect on our journey in this world since childhood to avoid making decisions based on traumatic experiences.